This Week [In Pictures]

Kevin Goes Country

So on Saturday night, I decided to try something new for a change. Dildo, you ask? No. Gay country western bar. Location: Capital Hill. Let's take a moment to take that all in [Gay country western bar on Capital Hill]

Loved the bathroom signage!



Kevin Spies Communist Metro Propoganda!

Well, I'm glad WMATA [link] finds it necessary to advertise the TERRORIST ALERT levels on the Metro platforms. If they didn't, I probably would forget. Not that we don't see them on the news on daily basis. Doesn't Fox News permanently display it on their sidebar? [Hmmm]



Kevin Finds Cure for Homosexuality!

Conservative Southern college not solving your homosexuality issues? Reading Santorum's book not helping either?? Well, do I have the solution for you! [THAT'S RIGHT, THE RUG DOCTOR!] Rent him for 1 hour and your rug techniques are guaranteed to improve five fold!

Kevin Back [In The City]

Kevin is now back [In The City] after traveling on business all last week. SO, that means new posts to come \o/

PS - Did I tell you I saw Tucker Carlson crossing the effing Chain Bridge [ON FOOT] on Friday??? I was so in shock [and disgust] that I didn't have time to snap a good photo [damnit!]

But, I do have some good ones to share from this past weekend. Here's a preview: lesbianic rug services, homoerotic bathroom signs, and [everyone's favorite] Chinese communist Metro propoganda!

Your Homo In the City,
Kevin

Hottest Man Alive Talks Cock Size, Sister [In The City] to Face Judicial Charges

I hope people are thinking about my work a little bit more than they're thinking about the size of my schlong. Not to say that they shouldn't.

-Julian McMahon [HOTTEST MAN ALIVE]

In other BREAKING news, Sister [In The City] to face 2nd college judicial hearing this year...

Dear Sister [In The City]:

I am writing this letter to inform you that a complaint has been brought against you for possible violation of the following provision(s) of the Code of Student Conduct:

Quiet hours

Illegal drugs

Alcohol

A Pre-Hearing Interview has been scheduled and a copy of the Incident Report will be available for your review at the Pre-Hearing. At that time you will have an opportunity to accept or deny responsibility for the complaint. Should you accept responsibility; an Administrative Disposition will be held. Should you not accept responsibility; the matter may be referred to the University Judicial Board.

Damn college kids! [Will you ever learn to stop drinking, smoking pot, and having rough sex during quiet hours!!]

Your Homo In The City,
Kevin

Metrosexuals, Interns, Slutty EX-BFs to be Condemned to Hell

Any gay male [or straight woman for that matter] understands just how confusing Metrosexuals are. As if seeing them on the streets isn't confusing enough [nevermind being forced to work in the same office with one] Having said that, I'd like to share today's [typical] convo between me and our Metrosexual Intern.

9 AM
(Having just battled DC traffic, Kevin enters office victorious)

(MetroIntern observes Kevin's fabulous outfit, tie [and 95% probability] his butt too)

MetroIntern: Tie today huh? Off-site meeting, off-site client meeting? (Refrains from commenting on butt as that just might push TOO many boundaries)

[Kevin] Nah, more like 2nd to last day here..
(Immune to the comments at this point)

MetroIntern: You know, you should give me your contact info, I may want to hire you some day..
MetroIntern: Or you may want to hire me..

(Kevin gossips to Coworker)

[Kevin's Coworker later] Hire the MetroIntern? You know, that'd really depend on the amount of manual labor involved for the job..
[Kevin] Yeah, I think it really would depend on the hand job at hand.

12 PM
(Kevin schvitzing his balls off)

[Kevin] It's a little hot up here don't you think?
MetroIntern: Yea, it is.
[Kevin] I'm gonna open a window..

(Kevin opens window)

MetroIntern: (Referring to his hotness [and 95% probability] wanting to flat out jump Kevin's bones at this point) Would you like me to leave?

Umm [what] who actually says this shit out loud??

In other BREAKING news, I recently learned my exBF is now dating some random guy -- not too long after the divorce [call me just a LITTLE suspicious] The kicker, he's not very good-looking and is going bald [LOL] Somehow, I think I made out better in the break-up/alimony/spoils department.

Don't you find it funny who people date post-yourself? Feels kinda good when you know they've down-graded though right? Or is that better put [makes you care less about the entire relationship in general]

Tempting to post their new online couple picture [All reasonable bribes will be considered]

Your Homo In The City,
Kevin

Kevin to Bring Sexy Back

Thought I'd share some [Kevin] action shots.







Just don't try to loosen up my buttons! [those pants have a zipper] ;-D

U.S. Park Police Shoots Dog @ Dupont Circle on 9/11

You read the headline right. I'll give you a run down of what happened:

The shot was literally fired INSIDE Dupont Circle on the grass [crowd panics] dog flails into the air in pain [then witnesses whip out digital cameras to document the whole incident]

The dog's owner was definitely a sketchball [I just hope that Park Police officer had a damn good reason to shoot it]

[Washington Post Documentation]

It was so sad. And I hate to say this [but you know it's true] If the owner had been some Georgetown yuppie [photo documentation] I feel like this chain of events would have ended differently.

It's just sad.

Your Homo In The City,
Kevin

5 Years Later

After my last post [which was written with a few too many margaritas] I wanted to touch on something a bit more serious today -- 9/11 and the families and lives impacted 5 years ago.

[Wishing everyone my best today]

Your Homo In The City,
Kevin

DC Fashion Week To Make District Actual Fun City to Live In

For all you Project Runway [see Tasty Treats] fans out there, I hope you're excited for the upcoming DC Fashion Week [web site] which runs from Sept. 24 - Oct. 1. I checked out their web site today -- and I must admit, it actually looks like a lot of fun!

I figure I can dress up like Miranda Priestly [Devil Wears Prada] and swish my way around the fashion show -- maybe score some free clothing here and there [no wait, I don't have a 25" waist] -- ok, so maybe score some hot model hook-up action. Perhaps I'll entice them with pizza-- oh come on, you know they're on the cube of cheese diet...you know, [don't eat a thing -- and then when you feel like you're going to pass out, then just eat a cube of cheese] yay! \o/

Kevin: Excitement for haute couture!
Long-time roommate Peter: [what. DC fashion week? since when is DC fashionable?] This city's dull as rocks.
Kevin: Since when is DC NOT fashionable?! Ever hear of [Annie Creamcheese] or Up Against the Wall? They're jeans only cost $800.

And for those of who are fashion-inept [the tragically straight, Gay-publicans, anyone from the Commonwealth of Virginia, etc.], take it from Alex of MTV's [My Super Sweet 16] and I quote in her Michigan accent "Pehris is the fehshion capitol of the world." Yes, head there and fix your problems [and on behalf of the rest of us who have to see you when you walk downtown everyday...THANKS!] Ooo, FIESTY this morning!

Speaking of Fashionistas, let's talk Paris Hilton's latest my "Stars Eyes are Blind" drama [video documentation]

Favorite real news blurb about the brouhaha:

For a high-profile heiress -- it’s “soooo not hot.” Paris Hilton may be reciting her favorite phrase today after facing the “Oh my gosh” reality that there’s no red carpet on the perp walk. -CNN's [Situation Room]

"That's all" [Miranda Priestly] for now.

Your Homo In The City,
Kevin

New posts soon I promise.

I'm in the midst of moving hell right now - hence the lack of witty posts as of late [but] I promise there will be some good ones coming soon.

Here's some fodder I've been tossing around in the meantime:

Hook-ups who just say the most random things ever - my favorite mid-hook-up phrase so far Fuck me on the weekends Kevin, just fuck me on the weekends I mean [what do you say to that]

The latest Nightlife CoverBoy who is now tacked onto my fridge. My roommate says he has a case of the Gay Face - thoughts? [Photo Documentation] Definitely a cutie though!

The tranny fishies that were found swimming in the Potomac River - thus once again proving that bottled water is a worthwhile investment for all DC Metro Area residents [Photo Documentation]

And for all you college boys, this week's Facebook drama which is making national headlines [TIME article]

More blogging to come when I actually get MY Internet set up and don't have to bum it off my neighbors.

Your Homo In The City,
Kevin

UPDATE: Brew at the Zoo.

So I was at the gym earlier this week and guess who I saw there?!

Yes, no one other than the tanorexic Brad Pitt Metrosexual look-a-like [read as: pretend straight man] from Brew at the Zoo! Click here for [photo documentation]

I may have to slap his ass with a towel next time I see him to guage his reaction. Strategically predicted outcomes:
1) Pissed-off look in response to stimulus, punch to the face -> he's "straight"
2) It moves to the shower. -> SCANDALOUS!

Obviously, I'll keep you posted.

Your Homo In The City,
Kevin