Homo In The City was created to share the trials and tribulations of being a young, gay professional in the city of Washington, DC. Having been a Washingtonian now for enough time to call the city my home, you can look forward to biased content slandering gay Republicans, the Hill, DC Interns, those twinks who throw up after almost every meal, and those annoying 40-year-old men who insist on buying you a drink. Welcome to Homo In The City.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Metrosexuals, Interns, Slutty EX-BFs to be Condemned to Hell

Any gay male [or straight woman for that matter] understands just how confusing Metrosexuals are. As if seeing them on the streets isn't confusing enough [nevermind being forced to work in the same office with one] Having said that, I'd like to share today's [typical] convo between me and our Metrosexual Intern.

9 AM
(Having just battled DC traffic, Kevin enters office victorious)

(MetroIntern observes Kevin's fabulous outfit, tie [and 95% probability] his butt too)

MetroIntern: Tie today huh? Off-site meeting, off-site client meeting? (Refrains from commenting on butt as that just might push TOO many boundaries)

[Kevin] Nah, more like 2nd to last day here..
(Immune to the comments at this point)

MetroIntern: You know, you should give me your contact info, I may want to hire you some day..
MetroIntern: Or you may want to hire me..

(Kevin gossips to Coworker)

[Kevin's Coworker later] Hire the MetroIntern? You know, that'd really depend on the amount of manual labor involved for the job..
[Kevin] Yeah, I think it really would depend on the hand job at hand.

12 PM
(Kevin schvitzing his balls off)

[Kevin] It's a little hot up here don't you think?
MetroIntern: Yea, it is.
[Kevin] I'm gonna open a window..

(Kevin opens window)

MetroIntern: (Referring to his hotness [and 95% probability] wanting to flat out jump Kevin's bones at this point) Would you like me to leave?

Umm [what] who actually says this shit out loud??

In other BREAKING news, I recently learned my exBF is now dating some random guy -- not too long after the divorce [call me just a LITTLE suspicious] The kicker, he's not very good-looking and is going bald [LOL] Somehow, I think I made out better in the break-up/alimony/spoils department.

Don't you find it funny who people date post-yourself? Feels kinda good when you know they've down-graded though right? Or is that better put [makes you care less about the entire relationship in general]

Tempting to post their new online couple picture [All reasonable bribes will be considered]

Your Homo In The City,
Kevin

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the best blog I have EVER read!!!! "Kevin" I'm sure you make both your real mother and any sort of psuedo-adopted mother you may have VERY proud!!!

10:02 AM

 

Post a Comment

<< Home