Homo In The City

Project Runwaygate: Part Deux!

2006-10-04T23:19:00.000-04:00

"Runway" Sews Up Another Scandal

It's all right there in the tagline: Heidi Klum cuts, the designers sew.

Except, of course, when it seems the designers don't actually sew and instead [outsource the production of their garments to hired hands] as is the allegation among contestants heading into Project Runway's third season finale.

The accusations of cheating mark the second demi-scandal to hit the catwalk this season and were leveled at final four contestant Jeffrey Sebelia by fellow designer Laura Bennett.

Tim Gunn [hot on the happy trail] is investigating...

[E! Online]

On NPR today...

2006-10-04T16:47:00.001-04:00

"Coming out of the closet and telling the truth is a matter of personal responsibility. Last time I checked, that's the cornerstone of being a Republican."

-National Public Radio

FOLEY TAKES IT IN GAY SEX SCANDAL

2006-10-02T22:59:00.000-04:00

-Steven Crowley, The New York Times

Anyone who lives inside the Beltway and has any connection to the Hill is aware of Mark Foley's latent homosexual closet-case of a reputation. [Google] "Mark Foley and gay" to see for yourself if you don't believe me -- over 929,000 hits.

Or better yet, you can watch his lawyer's admission today [CNN documentation] that Foley is:

An alcoholic

"Not a pedophile" [defintion]

Is in an un-named location for alcohol treatment

Was sexually abused by an un-named clergyman from ages 13-15

A GAY MAN

I'm not sure if you believe all this B.S. that Foley is all of sudden the [victim] in this situation. Once Chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children, Foley may very well be prosecuted by his very own sex offender legislation.

So what the fuck? Well, this gossip is getting better EVERY day -- and I am certainly excited to see where this story will go. [I mean, everyone loves A GAY REPUBLICAN CLOSET-CASE UNDER-AGE SEX SCANDAL]

It's interesting because initially when these "purely innocent" emails began to surface last Thursday, Foley's staff "angrily denounced the accusations" noting it was a "smear campaign" and "character assassination at its worst." [TC Palm Article - Free Registration Required]

Character assassination [OR NOT], last time I checked, it's hardly appropriate for a 52-year-old Congressman to send creepy "sick sick sick" emails to a 16 year-old boy from his personal AOL account.

[WELL IT GOT EVEN BETTER] The sexually explicit IMs WERE made public thanks to stellar reporting by ABC NEW's [BRIAN ROSS]

And CNN is reporting that Foley's Office, when confronted by ABC's Brian Ross with the sexually explicit IMs, [ASKED ROSS TO WITHOLD THE SEXUALLY EXPLICIT MESSGES ON CONDITION OF AN EXCLUSIVE ON FOLEY'S RESIGNATION] Questionable ethics much??

Ross said "No Deal." 2 hours later, Foley resigned.

So who's to blame? Well, the House Ethics Committee is set to have a closed door session and the FBI has already begun a preliminary investigation into the entire matter. Not to mention the RUMORS swirling around GOP Leadership in the House right now.

In the end, everyone involved will certainly get what's coming to them, people who knew of the initial emails and didn't take sufficient action, perhaps those who have been rumored to have known for 5 YEARS now. I can't wait to see what the FBI discovers in Foley's office, on his staffers' computers, and on the House's servers. In the broader political landscape, this certainly don't paint a pretty picture for a Republican Party who already has low ratings.

Now, to the ethical questions. [WHAT DOES IT SAY TO OUR COUNTRY'S GAY YOUTH WHEN THEY HEAR ABOUT A CLOSET-CASE POLITICIAN WHO DENOUNCES RUMORS THAT HE'S GAY IN 2003, REFUSES TO ANSWER THE QUESTION, AND THEN THIS DRAMA EXPLODES THREE YEARS LATER] It certainly doesn't promote a landscape of acceptance among our nation's GLBT-questioning youth. [More like, stay in the closet until you're caught in a scandal, and then, throw out every excuse in the book for your behavior]

What does it say about the people on the Hill who supported him throughout his career. What does it say about those that covered it up.

Stories like these are EXACTLY why I trust liberal media ANY DAY over Fox News. Kudos to ABC News for exposing this story. I guess Foley's "$2.4 billion in the bank" isn't going to do him much good anytime soon.

For a good laugh, check out [Foley's sexually explicit IMs] he had with a high school student during a HOUSE VOTE in 2003.

Your Homo In The City,
Kevin

Rep. Mark Foley Commentary to come...

2006-10-02T07:13:00.000-04:00

In the meantime, GoogleNews him!

I've never enjoyed GoogleNews this much in my entire life!

Your Homo In The City,
Kevin

Kevin [In The City] Makes Washington Blade Bitch Session

2006-10-01T21:30:00.000-04:00

In a freak twist of recent ex-BF events [plural], Kevin [In The City] was quoted in the Sept 22nd edition of the Washington Blade [See Tasty Treats]

That's right, BITCH SESSION. [Good things DO come to those who wait] Enjoy!

Following an emergency Ex-BF Advisory Board Meeting, a consensus was reached as to the next course of action:

[Mail the clip to that special someone via USPS!] Details to come as story unfolds...

Your Homo In The City,
Kevin

This Week [In Pictures]

2006-09-26T22:54:00.000-04:00

Kevin Goes Country

So on Saturday night, I decided to try something new for a change. Dildo, you ask? No. Gay country western bar. Location: Capital Hill. Let's take a moment to take that all in [Gay country western bar on Capital Hill]

Loved the bathroom signage!

Kevin Spies Communist Metro Propoganda!

Well, I'm glad WMATA [link] finds it necessary to advertise the TERRORIST ALERT levels on the Metro platforms. If they didn't, I probably would forget. Not that we don't see them on the news on daily basis. Doesn't Fox News permanently display it on their sidebar? [Hmmm]

Kevin Finds Cure for Homosexuality!

Conservative Southern college not solving your homosexuality issues? Reading Santorum's book not helping either?? Well, do I have the solution for you! [THAT'S RIGHT, THE RUG DOCTOR!] Rent him for 1 hour and your rug techniques are guaranteed to improve five fold!

Kevin Back [In The City]

2006-09-24T23:22:00.000-04:00

Kevin is now back [In The City] after traveling on business all last week. SO, that means new posts to come \o/

PS - Did I tell you I saw Tucker Carlson crossing the effing Chain Bridge [ON FOOT] on Friday??? I was so in shock [and disgust] that I didn't have time to snap a good photo [damnit!]

But, I do have some good ones to share from this past weekend. Here's a preview: lesbianic rug services, homoerotic bathroom signs, and [everyone's favorite] Chinese communist Metro propoganda!

Your Homo In the City,
Kevin

Hottest Man Alive Talks Cock Size, Sister [In The City] to Face Judicial Charges

2006-09-15T01:52:00.000-04:00

I hope people are thinking about my work a little bit more than they're thinking about the size of my schlong. Not to say that they shouldn't.

-Julian McMahon [HOTTEST MAN ALIVE]

In other BREAKING news, Sister [In The City] to face 2nd college judicial hearing this year...

Dear Sister [In The City]:

I am writing this letter to inform you that a complaint has been brought against you for possible violation of the following provision(s) of the Code of Student Conduct:

Quiet hours
Illegal drugs

Alcohol

A Pre-Hearing Interview has been scheduled and a copy of the Incident Report will be available for your review at the Pre-Hearing. At that time you will have an opportunity to accept or deny responsibility for the complaint. Should you accept responsibility; an Administrative Disposition will be held. Should you not accept responsibility; the matter may be referred to the University Judicial Board.

Damn college kids! [Will you ever learn to stop drinking, smoking pot, and having rough sex during quiet hours!!]

Your Homo In The City,
Kevin

Metrosexuals, Interns, Slutty EX-BFs to be Condemned to Hell

2006-09-15T00:33:00.000-04:00

Any gay male [or straight woman for that matter] understands just how confusing Metrosexuals are. As if seeing them on the streets isn't confusing enough [nevermind being forced to work in the same office with one] Having said that, I'd like to share today's [typical] convo between me and our Metrosexual Intern.

9 AM
(Having just battled DC traffic, Kevin enters office victorious)

(MetroIntern observes Kevin's fabulous outfit, tie [and 95% probability] his butt too)

MetroIntern: Tie today huh? Off-site meeting, off-site client meeting? (Refrains from commenting on butt as that just might push TOO many boundaries)

[Kevin] Nah, more like 2nd to last day here..
(Immune to the comments at this point)

MetroIntern: You know, you should give me your contact info, I may want to hire you some day..
MetroIntern: Or you may want to hire me..

(Kevin gossips to Coworker)

[Kevin's Coworker later] Hire the MetroIntern? You know, that'd really depend on the amount of manual labor involved for the job..
[Kevin] Yeah, I think it really would depend on the ~~hand~~ job at hand.

12 PM
(Kevin schvitzing his balls off)

[Kevin] It's a little hot up here don't you think?
MetroIntern: Yea, it is.
[Kevin] I'm gonna open a window..

(Kevin opens window)

MetroIntern: (Referring to his hotness [and 95% probability] wanting to flat out jump Kevin's bones at this point) Would you like me to leave?

Umm [what] who actually says this shit out loud??

In other BREAKING news, I recently learned my exBF is now dating some random guy -- not too long after the divorce [call me just a LITTLE suspicious] The kicker, he's not very good-looking and is going bald [LOL] Somehow, I think I made out better in the break-up/alimony/spoils department.

Don't you find it funny who people date post-yourself? Feels kinda good when you know they've down-graded though right? Or is that better put [makes you care less about the entire relationship in general]

Tempting to post their new online couple picture [All reasonable bribes will be considered]

Your Homo In The City,
Kevin

Kevin to Bring Sexy Back

2006-09-15T00:13:00.000-04:00

Thought I'd share some [Kevin] action shots.

Just don't try to loosen up my buttons! [those pants have a zipper] ;-D

U.S. Park Police Shoots Dog @ Dupont Circle on 9/11

2006-09-12T00:43:00.000-04:00

You read the headline right. I'll give you a run down of what happened:

The shot was literally fired INSIDE Dupont Circle on the grass [crowd panics] dog flails into the air in pain [then witnesses whip out digital cameras to document the whole incident]

The dog's owner was definitely a sketchball [I just hope that Park Police officer had a damn good reason to shoot it]

[Washington Post Documentation]

It was so sad. And I hate to say this [but you know it's true] If the owner had been some Georgetown yuppie [photo documentation] I feel like this chain of events would have ended differently.

It's just sad.

Your Homo In The City,
Kevin

5 Years Later

2006-09-11T16:34:00.000-04:00

After my last post [which was written with a few too many margaritas] I wanted to touch on something a bit more serious today -- 9/11 and the families and lives impacted 5 years ago.

[Wishing everyone my best today]

Your Homo In The City,
Kevin

DC Fashion Week To Make District Actual Fun City to Live In

2006-09-08T08:28:00.000-04:00

For all you Project Runway [see Tasty Treats] fans out there, I hope you're excited for the upcoming DC Fashion Week [web site] which runs from Sept. 24 - Oct. 1. I checked out their web site today -- and I must admit, it actually looks like a lot of fun!

I figure I can dress up like Miranda Priestly [Devil Wears Prada] and swish my way around the fashion show -- maybe score some free clothing here and there [no wait, I don't have a 25" waist] -- ok, so maybe score some hot model hook-up action. Perhaps I'll entice them with pizza-- oh come on, you know they're on the cube of cheese diet...you know, [don't eat a thing -- and then when you feel like you're going to pass out, then just eat a cube of cheese] yay! \o/

Kevin: Excitement for haute couture!
Long-time roommate Peter: [what. DC fashion week? since when is DC fashionable?] This city's dull as rocks.
Kevin: Since when is DC NOT fashionable?! Ever hear of [Annie Creamcheese] or Up Against the Wall? They're jeans only cost $800.

And for those of who are fashion-inept [the tragically straight, Gay-publicans, anyone from the Commonwealth of Virginia, etc.], take it from Alex of MTV's [My Super Sweet 16] and I quote in her Michigan accent "Pehris is the fehshion capitol of the world." Yes, head there and fix your problems [and on behalf of the rest of us who have to see you when you walk downtown everyday...THANKS!] Ooo, FIESTY this morning!

Speaking of Fashionistas, let's talk Paris Hilton's latest my "~~Stars~~ Eyes are Blind" drama [video documentation]

Favorite real news blurb about the brouhaha:

For a high-profile heiress -- it’s “soooo not hot.” Paris Hilton may be reciting her favorite phrase today after facing the “Oh my gosh” reality that there’s no red carpet on the perp walk. -CNN's [Situation Room]

"That's all" [Miranda Priestly] for now.

Your Homo In The City,
Kevin

New posts soon I promise.

2006-09-06T23:51:00.000-04:00

I'm in the midst of moving hell right now - hence the lack of witty posts as of late [but] I promise there will be some good ones coming soon.

Here's some fodder I've been tossing around in the meantime:

Hook-ups who just say the most random things ever - my favorite mid-hook-up phrase so far Fuck me on the weekends Kevin, just fuck me on the weekends I mean [what do you say to that]

The latest Nightlife CoverBoy who is now tacked onto my fridge. My roommate says he has a case of the Gay Face - thoughts? [Photo Documentation] Definitely a cutie though!

The tranny fishies that were found swimming in the Potomac River - thus once again proving that bottled water is a worthwhile investment for all DC Metro Area residents [Photo Documentation]

And for all you college boys, this week's Facebook drama which is making national headlines [TIME article]

More blogging to come when I actually get MY Internet set up and don't have to bum it off my neighbors.

Your Homo In The City,
Kevin

UPDATE: Brew at the Zoo.

2006-09-01T13:37:00.000-04:00

So I was at the gym earlier this week and guess who I saw there?!

Yes, no one other than the tanorexic Brad Pitt Metrosexual look-a-like [read as: pretend straight man] from Brew at the Zoo! Click here for [photo documentation]

I may have to slap his ass with a towel next time I see him to guage his reaction. Strategically predicted outcomes:
1) Pissed-off look in response to stimulus, punch to the face -> he's "straight"
2) It moves to the shower. -> SCANDALOUS!

Obviously, I'll keep you posted.

Your Homo In The City,
Kevin

Changing of the Guard.

2006-08-28T20:46:00.005-04:00

[Everyone always talks about how this city is so transient]

Well, it's now late August here in the District -- which means it's high time for this city to kick out the annoying summer interns of K Street [or Summer Associates as they call themselves -- and oh, they have the security badge to prove it] and welcome in the whole new slew of people who are equally as ecstatic to be living here.

The buzz of elections is in the air -- both local and Federal -- and with these changes, comes the shuffling of new people. Some of the new staffers we enjoy...while others [and ex-boyfriends for that matter], we wish would just flat-out leave this city sooner than later. No -- let's be honest, sometimes we wish they'd just leave the damn planet already!
:-D

How can you be so sure the change is in the air? Take a look around Northwest on any given weekday -- the Homos are hoppin' down the sidewalks to their iPods! I'm driving to work blasting my homo-music at ear-piercing levels -- and ohh my god -- I haven't seen that many attractive gay men on the streets of Georgetown U for the entire summer! Haha, well lucky me!

But despite how much I may despise this city's transient nature -- or the District in its entirety -- I have to admit, I do understand why they come: Washington DC is an excellent place to fast-track your career. Having gone to school here myself, interned on K Street and [vomit] worked with the Hill -- and now, moved on up in the private sector -- I know this city has presented me with loads of opportunity.

Someone close to me once said "DC is what you make of it" -- and it's something I think of on a daily basis.

I've met too many, snob-nosed Hill Rats who work like dogs for shitty pay for the sake of their precious title -- and far too many gay Republicans! [but we'll save that topic for a later date]

The point is, if you don't like certain aspects of DC (whether it be the Hill, politics, or this city's plastic people [photo documentation]) -- don't make them a part of your daily life -- or better yet, work as a consultant and clean up their silly mess ;-) God knows this city can always use more project management consultants with PMP certifications :-)

Opportunity certainly exists in this city. Thousands of Washingtonians network the SHIT out of this city on daily basis like they were banging a prostitute on their DEATH BED -- and just wanted to get some hot stripper ass before their last breath!

I.E. Have you ever gone out to Halo [photos] and not seen some pretentious homo hand out his business card to someone he's flirting with? [vomit again] Yea, I knew you felt a little vomit in your mouth last time you were there.

The bottom line: if you use and abuse the District like the one-night stand she is, don't expect to find much. But if you romance her -- and find the bits and pieces of the city that you do love -- she'll do good by you. You just have to let her.

Your Homo In The City,
Kevin

Nothing Beats Getting Drunk with the Pandas.

2006-08-27T03:01:00.000-04:00

This past Thursday, I hit up Brew at the Zoo with two of my best friends. Hosted by the Smithsonian's Young Professional group -- [pause to take in full effect of that yuppie glory] -- the event featured beer from local microbreweries, h'ors d'oeuvres including Chiptole barbacoa tacos [pause for orgasm], and live music.

Basically you pay $60 to wait in line for your mug of beer to get filled up 1/3 of the way, wait in line some more, then wait in line while you drink your beer, until you're wasted -- and somehow all of that pays for the Pandas to eat bamboo and have their shit cleaned up. Quite a novel idea, right? Now, if you're truly a skilled Washingtonian young professional -- like myself -- you get into these sorts of events for free. Merci beaucoup Pierre! [Note to self: it pays to have friends who work for lobbyists]

So, I figured there would be a whole slew of Gabies at an event like this -- a socially-conscious, non-profit benefit with high-end beer -- I mean, it screams Homo Hop right? Well, apparently not. The whole time we're there, we're squinting to spot any possible Homos. Think, Where's Waldo when you're drunk -- but instead, Waldo is now mixed amongst all those damn DC Metrosexuals. Damnit! GAYDAR is not operational!

So instead of spotting the gay men, I amused myself by counting the number of Lacoste Polos I could spot in the crowd. Sadly, only 4. Damnit again! I could easily top that if I stood at Wisconsin and M for a mere 30 seconds!

After about 10, 1/3 mugs of beer, 2 Chipotle tacos, 1 piece of Tryst carrot cake, and 2 pretzels [no mustard], it was time to schlep the mile walk back to the Zoo's entrance and then the .5 mile walk back to the Metro. Yah, the Smithsonian bastards made you walk at least a mile just to get to the damn beer tents.

Now, if the walk was intended to sober up those who were driving or to help the beerfest attendees burn off all those carbs, we'll never know. But, all in all, the event was pretty fun -- and ultimately -- a success. I mean, they SOLD OUT and they even got some Homos to show up. For the record, if you ever get gay men to show up at your party -- or any event with a set time for that matter -- you know you've done well.

In other news, I got eye-fucked about 10 times when I was walking to the gym on Friday -- DESPITE wearing protection 100% of the time aka sunglasses. =P Just playing. Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Your Homo In The City,
Kevin

Homo In The City Launched.

2006-08-24T23:45:00.000-04:00

In response to much peer pressure, I've finally caved and started a blog dedicated to the trials and tribulatiions of being a gay, young professional in this city we call Washington, DC.

Wondering if your metrosexual coworker with that TUMI messenger bag is gay -- or is he just fashion-forward? Do you get eye-fucked when you walk around town, or even when you're in the car stopped at a red light -- or in the Metro on your way to work when everyone is "reading their Express" -- but in reality, they're SECRETLY checking out everyone else's ass / ta-ta's / hoo-ha / ding-dong?? Do straight men confuse the hell outta you when they seem overly nice for no apparent reason?

Do you have a passion for Xavier Onasis Bloomingdale and the drag shows at Chaos -- or all that Madonna they play at 80's Night? How about those frozen pitchers of strawberry margaritas at Lauriol Plaza, tasty right? And isn't it funny when you leave Cobalt on a Saturday, hit up the McDonald's on 17th -- ya know, the GAY McDonald's -- and the music they're playing there is actually BETTER than what they were playing at the club? Do gay men who refuse to eat carbs but drink their weight in beer drive you just a LITTLE insane?

Well, you get the point.

You can look forward to plenty of those stories -- and ones lambasting, yes I actually USED that word, DC and all of the people in this city who, well frankly, just frost my ass.

This is what all the fuss is about.

Your Homo In The City,
Kevin